Growing up I thought that quality was a natural inherent sense in all of us. I would hear things like “follow your conscience” and imagine that inside all of us is some hidden wisdom that will tell us what is good and bad.
As an adult I tell myself that I don’t believe this anymore, but it’s still a deeply ingrained habit of mine to assume that there will be something that stops me from being too bad. Our bodies give us a sense of what is harming us in our immediate physicality. But the cells in our body and the dendrites in our brains don’t have any ability to predict what’s good for us in the future. Or what psychological harm there may be in the long term, or hidden physical harms.
Now the terms “follow your conscience” has taken on a different meaning for me. It’s not the conscience of the little voice I expect to be there to guide me whenever I’m in a confuddle. I’m now trying to find the conscious in me. The awareness when I open my eyes and mind, and drop the automatic filters that block my perception.
It’s satori that I’m seeking. The awareness of the buddha.
Understanding and developing the foundations will naturally develop understanding of the nature of things around you.
In the mind and body, when delving into yourself and seeking answers to questions such as “what does my little toe on my left foot feel right now?” and “what am I feeling? Is this discontent? why?” you come out of it knowing a little bit more of the nature of man and nature of nature in general. Then if you open your eyes, you’ll see that you can know things about your surrounding environment that you haven’t noticed before. This is part of the concept: ‘inspiration’.
Today I was standing in the elevator, facing the door. Suddenly I realized that I had full awareness of exactly how far the wall behind me is. I lifted my foot and, without turning around, lightly tapped the wall exactly where I ‘felt’ the wall should be.
I have to say.. it was pretty cool. But why was I able to do that?
I believe human beings naturally have potential for this kind, and even greater, awareness of their surroundings. We are still a part of nature.. or used to be anyways, and this awareness of the nature that we are a part of can be developed with training. Now, there are two methods of training, you can train the external and you can train the internal.
With external training, in this case, you would try to increase your peripheral vision. You would train yourself to walk into a room, like the elevator, and memorize what it looks like. You would keep in mind where you are positioned relative to everything and everyone else. It would be hard work, and it can be done.
But I prefer the internal type of training. I prefer the type of training where I focus on the inside, and the deeper in I go, the deeper out I will be naturally aware of. This isn’t any easier, it’s slow progress and requires much more mental effort. It pays off though.
With the external training I would gain awareness of my surroundings, probably faster and more of it than I would with internal training. But with internal training, I’m also laying the foundations for my own life, my own being. That is an investment that will last me a lifetime. While the stuff I gain externally, it’s cool but how long and how much do I REALLY need it?