Feeling the pain

There’s a pain in my neck that hasn’t gone away in a long time. And sometimes it’s worse than other times. Randomly. And sometimes I do something to aggravate it. Yesterday I did something to make that pain worse. My first reaction to the pain is to get rid of it as quickly as possible. I try various methods to alleviate it.
I think “maybe if I work through the pain, aggravate it more, it’ll like.. go away” and I push and prod and there is a sharpening of pain and then as the high intense pain drops back down to that dull ache, I feel, “oh yahhhh.. yahh that’s relief.” But it’s just an illusion, the pain didn’t get any better, the cause of the pain didn’t heal.
Finding that that’s an illusion I try the opposite tack. I try to ignore it, pretend it doesn’t exist. I think, “My attention is energy, I’m just feeding it with negative energy, if I focus elsewhere then the disease will shrivel and die away from lack of nourishment.” And I distract myself, pretend what’s happening isn’t really happening, and it does go away for a moment in time. But when it comes back it is stronger than ever and I cannot ignore it any more.
So what is the best way to deal with pain? Intelligence, diligence, discipline, patience, and a lot of sympathy and compassion when you fail to be intelligent, diligent, disciplined, or patient. And a lot of time.
And sometimes it seems like nothing will help and I want to fall to my knees and cry. Doing that is good too. Especially that posture for the neck. It stretches the muscles from my thighs all the way up to my back, stretching out those tight damaged muscles that are causing so much strain on my neck.


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