Ode to the Sock Fairy

Oh Sock Fairy
your wings beat so silently as you creep into our house
to steal my precious socks.
But I know that you’re not an evil fairy
like that bastard Tooth Fairy.
You leave no paltry amount of money for me
in hopes that it’s enough of a bribe
so that I don’t call the cops for breaking and entering
and stealing away my dental organs to sell on the black market.
No Sock Fairy, you’re not like that cheap hustler.
I know that you keep these socks in a bank account for me.
With 10 percent interest, compounding for the rest of my life.
So that I have enough socks for the forever that I’ll need them
in heaven.

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