#2 Fan

This is for that #2 fan out there.
Number one is specifically held by mothers. It may be an annoying fact for some people, but your mother will always be your Number 1 fan. It doesn’t matter whether some young person with tears in their eyes and a sign that says “We love you Smileyhead! I want to have your baby. -Your #1 fan” assaults you on the streets on your way to work. No amount of glitter and construction paper will replace the fact that your mom wiped your defecation off your butt for years while you couldn’t, and still would again if something horrible happened to you.
But that doesn’t mean that the #2 fan should go unnoticed. So this is for my #2 fan out there.
#2 fan, thank you for checking my website every day several times. I try not to disappoint you and you’re the reason why I try my best in my posts. Thank you also for correcting every single mistake I make, I know you  just want me to be perfect on the outside to reflect the perfection that you see on the inside. And when Im down, you know just how to cheer me up by thumbing up on different computers the same post so that I can be deluded into thinking that my beautiful thoughts are being read by random strangers.
#2 fan, you are the reason that I get up in the morning. It’s so that I can have another day where I can witness more ironies, contradictions, and other wonderful creations of man. You are the reason I think of ways to put it down in writing in funny, unique, and ingenious ways.
#2 fan, without you, this blog wouldn’t exist and it wouldn’t change the lives of THOUSANDS and MILLIONS of people in the world. You are essentially the reason for all the happiness and joy in the world that comes from these posts.
#2 fan, pat yourself on the back for being so awesome. Not as awesome as me.. but pretty close.

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