Lost in the crowd

I’ve had some great ideas throughout my long life. Maybe one, but probably all, of those ideas would have made me famous and millions and billions of pennies. But there was always just one thought that would keep me from pursuing the idea further, “it’s been done, I’m just gonna be another one of the thousands out there doing this or trying this.”
Take this blog for example. I know, it’s a social no-no to talk about your blog in your blog. It’d be like going to a party and saying, “dude! we’re at a party!” Only losers do that. The proper, cool, sophisticated people pretend that there’s nothing unusual going on, as if they’re at home watching tv. And as uncool it is to acknowledge that you’re at a party, it’s taboo to mention that you think you look da-shit in your suede green blazer you got at goodwill for $10.
So I guess I’ll be doing something illegal right now by declaring that I’d like people to notice my blog, read it, tell their friends about how amazingly funny, interesting, and handsome I am. I want more hits, I want you to look to your right and see the scroll bar has almost disappeared because there are so many comments below.
At the date of publish, this blog is titled “If I ruled the world you’d read this.” And I mean that. If I ruled the world I’d make it a law that everyone would have to read this blog at least once a day. But soon that law would not have to be enforced because people will recognize how awesome my posts are and begin reading this everyday out of the sheer pleasure that I provide them. Hence the second meaning of the blog title, if I ruled the world, you’d know that I existed and so you’d seek out more ways to access the wonder that is me.
I’m not one to toot my own horn though, I’m a modest man. Humble to a fault. So even though I am lost in the crowd, even though I’m one of a million other blogs out there that billions of people sift through every day, I’m happy with the few people who do every once in a while happen to stumble on to one of my posts.
I’ve always wondered why anyone in their right mind would open another gas station right across the street from an already existing gas station. It would baffle me when I’d see ANOTHER water & ice only half a block from the previous one. I would see random Chinese buffets on random streets and wonder just what the founder of that business was thinking.
Maybe now I’m a little closer to understanding. Even though I have thousands of other competition, I’m always happy for that one reader that I know will almost every day check my blog.
And soon over time if I continue to output good work I know that I’ll begin to have those few people who are intelligent enough to appreciate me and read my blogs regularly. And it’s to those few people that I continue writing, just as I’m sure it’s those few regular customers that somehow keeps that one dollar store, among 10 others in that same block, in business.
Those few will be devoted to me, wait impatiently for a new post, swear by my every word, and look up to me with inspired awe. They’ll give me their soul and I’ll lead them to a higher spiritual, mental, and physical level than they ever thought possible.
And then one day “BAM!!” It’ll leak out to the general public that I kick puppies and kittens or something horrendous like that. They’ll be devastated, cry for the loss of their idol, and combat the ones of people who will damn me on the internet.
But I guess that’s the price of being awesome. Remember kids, awesome doesn’t mean perfect, it just means more perfect that YOU.


6 thoughts on “Lost in the crowd

  1. one of your funniest blogs..

  2. I wonder too, every single freaking time…
    I understand now too I think.. I really like this post. Good job.

  3. Mr. MoMo, you sir are by far my favorite Bengali speaker (talking WORLDWIDE here). I really look forward to you being my false idol one day soon.

  4. Man how u been long time no contact hey one question how old were u on that picture on ur profile

  5. […] The epitome of ego gratification Posted on March 25, 2011 by Mohammed To quote myself about myself: “I’m awesome, thereby, vis-à-vis, and ergo, I can quote myself” I find people who only quote others to be pretentious and I assume that they just have low self-esteem. Somehow they skip over a few logical steps and come to some illogical conclusion that if they can spout things they’ve memorized that others have said, they have done the work of independent critical thinking. I on the other hand, know better. Why? Because I said so. If you refer to my previous posts I’m sure I have stated with utmost clarity and understanding that I am pretty awesome. It’s there, look it up. Thus, since I am awesome, I know that I can think for myself and I don’t need to quote anyone to prove that the things I say are awesome as well. If you have a hard time understanding this, I refer you to: https://smileyhead.wordpress.com/2011/03/03/lost-in-the-crowd/ […]

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