Go deep into pain

Pain hurts. But physical pain is sometimes sort of fun. Like poking a bruise or sore muscles after a good workout.
Emotional pain, though, is like internal bleeding. You can feel the energy, the joy, the assurances just being drained out of you and it just leaves you tired.
My mind normally tries to find a solution out of this pain or comes up with plans to avoid it in the future. But most of the time, it’s unavoidable, it’ll catch up to you no matter how far and fast you run. And no amount of planning is going to keep you from being hurt by people’s words, unfulfilled expectations, and other people’s emotional pain.
There is a very old and wise human proverb, “yield to overcome.” Surrender to the things that you want to on top of. It’s very simple but difficult because it’s so simple it’s often not what we think of when we do come across something we want to overcome. Like pain.
I hate pain. It’s what epitomizes everything that I don’t want to experience. I hate pain with a passion, I am afraid of it, I want to get rid of it and I never want to feel it ever again.
And THAT is precisely why I feel so much pain and so easily.
I must learn to love pain, to embrace pain, to let pain happen. I must learn to feel it, to jump into pain and swim around in it.
Have you ever played in the mud? I have. At first I look at it and think, “OMG, what gross disgusting things must be living and wiggling around in there and they’ll bite me or bury into my ears and eat my brains out.” But sometimes when you’re in a third world country and it’s raining really hard and you need to go somewhere and there isn’t anything but dirt roads.. you have to deal with the mud. And after the first few steps, it’s not really so bad.
It’s kind of like that. Like playing in clean mud.
And pain is clean, like fire it’s the cleanest thing I’ve encountered. Pain doesn’t lie, it doesn’t hide things from you. Pain tells you the truth, it burns you, and it burns the sickness off of you.
I must learn to love pain. It is worthy of my love.


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